There we go

[Digital Masta]

Sounds glorious
A lotta thoughts around my trip... I'll share later after I get home

So from my trip...a lot learned...a lot more observed.

This is my best friend. I've known him for almost 20 years now. We were first college roommates. We've always talked about goals and plans for the future. I've accomplished a SHIT LOAD of mine. He has accomplished a few of his. But just listening to him and his wife talk...and their outlook on life...and specifically how their politics have tainted EVERYTHING it

the question I'm left with -- and keep circling back to -- is...when is it time to let a friendship go? I keep wondering if it is the whole sunken cost thing...

I'd be interested in hearing what their politics are all about.

One of the things I've learned as I've gotten older is that sometimes people come into your life for seasons. Sometimes it's just one season, sometimes it's a few seasons, and other times it's literally until you die. Although in the last case they probably come in and out of your life a few times as things change in your respective lives but you still stay connected.

I've experienced this a lot especially since living in Japan, as many people come in and out of your life especially foreigners. So many people that I was really close with that I no longer speak to and I have no idea what they are doing now. Nothing happened between us, just life. One particular, I realized that I was putting more effort into keeping the relationship going than he was and I just decided to stop. Again, nothing bad happened between us and if we run into each we'll say hi and catch up but that's pretty much it.

I just let it go. Now, in your particular case, it's the hardest. There are relationships that I'm not willing to just let go even if we don't talk a whole lot now. The biggest example is my friend from 6th grade. September of this year will mark 26 years of friendship and we don't chat that much but when we do we just fall back into old habits without skipping a beat. Granted since we were 11 years old he's ALWAYS been terrible at contacting his friends but also our politics and values are essentially still aligned, it's crazy actually. That obviously wasn't what made us friends all those years ago but we just happened to connect so well that we somehow even aligned with a significant amount of our politics.

I firmly believe that if a person's politics are completely and totally diametrically opposed to yours then you can't really be friends. This doesn't mean that you hate each other or aren't cordial but people despite what people say, your politics are also a reflection of your values and if your values don't align, you're gonna have a hard time being around each other. If I have to censor myself around someone then I will let that relationship go as at this point in my life I refuse to be around people where I can't be myself. It's like being in prison.

[killacross]

I gotta take the time to fully compose my thoughts [just too many moving pieces right now with work, home, inlaws, and finances].

But the summary is that he and his wife went on this long diatribe about "evil rich people" and the "evil corporations" -- and didn't realize that they were talking shit about me to my face. And it wasn't short either...they did it for hours and hours. And the lack of self awareness of it all rubbed me the wrong way.

[San Goku]

^^

I think you should afford them the benefit of doubt that they were talking in general excluding you, because they know and like you.

Funny enough @DM I still connect often to my friend from grade 1 and he's living in Japan with his wife and has 3 kids.

[Digital Masta]

^^

I think you should afford them the benefit of doubt that they were talking in general excluding you, because they know and like you.

That kinda makes it even worse. "Rich people are evil...but not you killa, because I know you."

"I hate blacks...but not you killa, you're one of the good ones."

[killacross]

It wasn't even that. We were standing in a community park that was funded by billionaires and corporations and various millionaires. It was VERY nice. The goal was to make a community area for the community.

They talked about how.. Even though it costs millions... They had billions and should have given more. And even then... They only did it because of a tax write off.

Me: who cares?

That's was the start of the conversation.

Later on.. It was about how greedy they were... And it trickles down to all their CEOs and managers and teams. Greedy and evil from the bottom up! Why should ANY household make more than $200k?! It's too much!! It's pure greed!!. .. And there's people at the bottom that could use that money more... And they deserve it more because they work harder.... Instead it's the 1% hoarding it all... Yada yada

And were sitting over here making $250k+...notnto mention (because it doesn't matter to us)... We paid for every meal and ticket to the places we went... then gave them $2.5k in cash when we left

But just several things about the whole experience/interactions... Correction, it didn't rub me the wrong way... But it gave me pause.

[Digital Masta]

It wasn't even that. We were standing in a community park that was funded by billionaires and corporations and various millionaires. It was VERY nice. The goal was to make a community area for the community.

They talked about how.. Even though it costs millions... They had billions and should have given more. And even then... They only did it because of a tax write off.

Me: who cares?

That's was the start of the conversation.

Later on.. It was about how greedy they were... And it trickles down to all their CEOs and managers and teams. Greedy and evil from the bottom up! Why should ANY household make more than $200k?! It's too much!! It's pure greed!!. .. And there's people at the bottom that could use that money more... And they deserve it more because they work harder.... Instead it's the 1% hoarding it all... Yada yada

And were sitting over here making $250k+...notnto mention (because it doesn't matter to us)... We paid for every meal and ticket to the places we went... then gave them $2.5k in cash when we left

But just several things about the whole experience/interactions... Correction, it didn't rub me the wrong way... But it gave me pause.

Ah yes, it trickles down to the people that make the decisions that can make or break the company...how unfair.

That's a whole lot of ignorance being spouted by them. And fundamental misunderstanding of value too. I ain't got time for that. They are hoarding it all yet the park exists. Their smartphones exist, their house exists, their clothes exists. That's the 1% not hoarding the money.

If I happen to provide a product or service that people are willing to pay me crazy amounts of money for and it's a voluntary exchange then who are they to tell me I'm not allowed to make that money?

[San Goku]

^^

I think you should afford them the benefit of doubt that they were talking in general excluding you, because they know and like you.

That kinda makes it even worse. "Rich people are evil...but not you killa, because I know you."

"I hate blacks...but not you killa, you're one of the good ones."

Good point I can't disagree there but there are some notable examples like if they were talking about George Soros, Epstien, the Royal Family (Britain or any Royal generally).

[San Goku]

Who's going to blink first tomorrow with Russia's demand to pay them for gas in Rubles to unfriendly countries in the EU? I'm shocked Macron said no lol. Like you try to drive their dollar and economy into oblivion and then object to this strategic reaction, it's hilarious. I had no idea that Russia supplies the EU with so much essential goods before this conflict started, talking 40% of oil and gas, wheat. The deadline to convert payments to Ruble is tomorrow.

Edit:

This didn't age well: https://youtu.be/o7Uz2legd9s

[Cane_The9lives]

That kinda makes it even worse. "Rich people are evil...but not you killa, because I know you."

"I hate blacks...but not you killa, you're one of the good ones."

Yeah I'm not quite sure Demonizing the rich rises to the equivalent level of hatred for a group based upon immutable characteristics like skin color, but Ok.

[killacross]

Don't do it DM

But I get what you're trying to say Cane. Demonizing the rich...when it is something that can be "easily" hidden vs demonizing someone for their skin tone -- which is evident is not a perfect example.

But DM, as a Black man...speaking to me, as a Black man...speaking to San, as a Black man -- we understood it entirely because we have all encountered that type of subtle racism in our life...and the person saying it would swear on their parents' grave and swear up and down that there isn't a racist bone in their body

...hell, they even had a friend who was Black!!

[Digital Masta]

^^

I think you should afford them the benefit of doubt that they were talking in general excluding you, because they know and like you.

That kinda makes it even worse. "Rich people are evil...but not you killa, because I know you."

"I hate blacks...but not you killa, you're one of the good ones."

Good point I can't disagree there but there are some notable examples like if they were talking about George Soros, Epstien, the Royal Family (Britain or any Royal generally).

Keep in mind that killa's friend lumped the entire 1% into one group...actually, they lumped in the top 5% (people making over 250k) as well. I think now to be in the top 1% nationally you need an annual income of around 600k.

Someone making 600k is nothing compared to the George Soros-like people of the world, they have no institutional power yet they are in the same 1% and they are the ones that screwed the most when people like killa's friend elect people to take more of their money.

Don't do it DM

I'm well versed in Cane-bait at this point so I had no plans to do anything.


EDIT: https://www.theblaze.com/news/every-nfl ... tant-coach

[San Goku]

"Well versed in Cane-bait" LMFAOOOOOO

[San Goku]

Interesting, leak Russian documents show that U.S/Ukraine bio-weapons was using a patent drone tech to spray infected insects to spread disease over a large distance to avoid having to use their own troops to take out the Russians. Clever and diabolical plan.

[Cane_The9lives]

I'm well versed in Cane-bait at this point so I had no plans to do anything.


EDIT: https://www.theblaze.com/news/every-nfl ... tant-coach

I would genuinely enjoy meeting you in person one day.
Makes it harder to run away when I disagree

[Digital Masta]

[killacross]

I've decided I'm a bad friend [at times]...he is my longest friend as well. Most people have come and gone...I also think Ms Thickums will be in my life for a very long time as well, at least I hope so.

If either of them called...I wouldn't ask questions...I'd just help disappear a body
...but I'm judgmental as fuck...So here goes an abridged list of things that I judged them on:


They don't cut their hair, they don't brush their hair.
The wife doesn't shave her armpits, he doesn't maintain his facial hair (he's like me and can grow a patchy beard/goatee -- i shave and trim mine)
He lives in the same 600 sq ft apartment from 11 years ago when he first moved to OK and started college)
In that apartment -- they have 2 small dogs and 7 cats
Outside that apartent - they have 2 sets of stray cats w/ litters so another ~15
the Apt is 2 bed 1 bath...so they have their bedroom...then the "animal room". The daughter's crib is in the living room (because the animals get into things and make a huge mess at night)
Their daughter is [incredibly] behind on the developmental milestones...10 months old but no teeth (not on them), can't roll over, can't crawl, can't sit up, can't stand, not speaking...etc. I suspect they put her in her bounce chair and park her in front of a TV
My daughter was playing on a pole at one of the jungle gyms and said "Look mama, I'm a fireman"...his wife corrected her "You're a firewoman"
When we went out in public...I wore jeans, a button up, boat shoes...my wife mostly leggings, a sweater dress, and closed toed shoes, my daughter something similar....they generally wore anime Tshirt, sweat pants, socks with sandals -- or blue Tshirt, pajama bottoms, and fuzzy house slippers (just the lack of care about your appearance is weird to me -- it's an extension of a poverty mindset "No one cares what I look like..and I don't care what they think if they do").
The whole thing about evil rich people
The talk about a new LGBTQAAA+++IA+ center and how people didn't want it in their city
Which led to the talk about how stupid Christians are because of their beliefs
They tried to give me tax advice -- I told them they were wrong...and they tried to argue me down (because they want to get the daughter back into daycare -- but can't afford the one they wanted with both of them working...and the cheapest ones they can find, aren't nice enough. So they started saying how they've started a dependent care FSA and blah blah blah...)
He talked about several failed plans to make bajillions of dollars...but then revealed he never completed step #1
They talked about finances...but showed a gross lack of knowledge ...especially around overtime "Over time is taxed different, so it's not worth working those hours and paying in alllllll that extra money - ya know?"
Talk about green energy
Rants about Donald Trump
Because they live in Tulsa...and black wallstreet -- constant conversations about black man cant get ahead...and white man holding them back
Also...the white man probably won't allow a black woman on the SCOTUS -- just wait they'll find some reason to stop her
Talks about Joe Rogan was supposed to cancel their student debt -- and they wish Bernie never backed out -- and hope he runs again

[Digital Masta]

That would be enough for me to go, "I'm just gonna fade out of this relationship." No official breaking it off you just kinda lose contact over time.

[killacross]

That would be enough for me to go, "I'm just gonna fade out of this relationship." No official breaking it off you just kinda lose contact over time.

Maybe
I think you are generally correct though...we change and evolve over time...but if our overall morals and values and worldviews align -- we stay friends. And his worldview has just changed so much [and so drastically since meeting his wife] that we will probably drift apart. I remember thinking the same thing when I first met her 4 years ago...she would make some comments, and I just kinda dismissed it at the time.

He's gradually shifted more and more extreme left. I remember talking to him and he would make comments over the years. But we were always like - huh..I see it different than you - and nothing would really come of it past the discussion.

I think I told the story before where he was like "It is time for a female president"...and I said "Apparently not...you know, unless an old, rich, white man wins first and gives her the position" and then he hung up on me....

...but we are brothers...at least for now anyway.

Aside from him directly hurting my wife or daughter -- I would never disappear...and I'd like to think he is the same

[killacross]

Whaaaa

SNL was actually funny??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdayQgrM74o

[San Goku]

^

That Nick Canon one had me chuckling.