A lot of random backstory here. I lived in a very small, very rural, very racist town in Western, NC.
She's white, I'm black. I knew her for a few years. I was madly in love with her...
We started dating senior year in high school (obviously) -- Dec 2002. A lot of people didn't like that (even more than I imagined is what I found out later).
I went to a college summer program in July 2003.
She broke up with me because she didn't want to do the long distance thing "It wouldn't be fair to us".
We got back together like 2 weeks later...and she traveled the 3 hrs to come see me.
College started end of August 2003. We went to schools that were 3 hrs apart. We would travel every other weekend...and would alternate who visited who. I had a dorm to myself (got my roommate expelled because I didnt like him and he would spark up in the room, halls, stairways, etc) and she had an apt.
She broke up with me again in September, but we still talked daily.
We got back together like a week later.
She broke up with me again in November, but we still talked daily. She said she went on a date with a guy but nothing happened -- not even a kiss [she actually called me before and after -- which I don't know why I was such a chump...but I fucking LOVED her].
We got back together -- I remember that I got her a promise ring that Christmas.
She broke up with me again on Feb 2, 2004. I told her -- I am tired of playing this game...I KNOW I want to be with her forever...not sure why she is unsure...but If we break up, I need a a week...maybe 2 of no contact.
I didn't talk to her for the first week. She called me but I didn't take the call the second week. She texted me on Feb 15 asking if we could talk? I said sure.
So we talked and talked...then she said she had to confess something. Between Feb 2 and Feb 14 (13 days)...she had sex with 17 different dudes. She realizes now they meant nothing to her...and I was right all along, we belonged together.
I was like...WOW, well umm, I'm obviously done here.
She posted these dumb/cryptic away messages saying how she could never trust a man again..etc. so that the other "friends" would call or IM (this was when AOL Instant Messenger was big and before Facebook) and ask what I did to break HER heart? I always said, I didn't do anything wrong...we just weren't meant to be together. We broke up and I don't want to get back together (I NEVER put her business out there).
I would get random threats (fake emails and voicemails from payphones) because they told me to keep my nigger ass away from her, I better leave her alone or else, we warned her niggers ain't no good... etc etc etc.
That's when her crazy REALLY came out. She would drink and leave me these CRAZY fucking voicemails about how I wasn't shit..I never was shit...I'll never be shit...and if I was a real man then.... BUT she would also leave messages about how much she thinks about me and misses me...and check my email (she sent TONS of nudes). BUUUUT she would also send me pics of her with other dudes' penises in her mouth. BUUUUUUT she would also talk about I was the best and only good thing to ever happen in her life and she would do anything to have me back. BUUUUUUUUUUUUT she would also say that If I didn't take her back, she would kill herself and it would be all my fault. It was probably a 20/70/4/5/1% split.
Then she went back to our town and fucked most of my/our "friends" from high school.
Over the years (since 2004) she has regularly checked in with me 3-4x/yr. I have repeatedly blocked her number. But her number has changed over the years...mine has been the same since I got my first cell @ 15 (almost 20 yrs ago WOW).
Eventually I hit the point where I don't really care about her at all. I'm not in love, sad, OR angry anymore. I feel nothing...not even pity. She last contacted me October 2019. She was visiting her mom (she had her second bout with breast cancer) and said she was passing by some of the old hang outs from HS and started thinking of me...and wondered if I remembered banging her brains out here, here, and here -- and how much fun we had? (She's married now BTW -- which is another crazy/weird story in itself)
I honestly feel nothing towards her, but yea, Feb 15 is burned into my soul. Very formative experience.
#1 Once you go black...
#2 I stuck my dick in crazy