lmfao, started laughing halfway though with the 15yr old throwing a tantrum. The power is in your hands you guys are all family now. Speak your mind and speak to truth (don't always be an asshole). You will just have to tell them whats up, they can't wait you now or ever. They maybe mad at you putting your foot down and up their asses but you are the man of the house.killacross wrote: ↑Sun Dec 29, 2019 4:05 pmAnother long post to vent some of this frustration:
So to update. And a lot of nonsense history to get through here...
I have complained for months about my FIL and MIL doing 0 around the house...except making huge fucking messes every where they go. And only half ass cleaning it up (one time they dropped a carton of fruit juice on the floor...then "cleaned" it with a dry mop -- so just this sticky fucking mess in the end). I enjoy cleaning and used to clean the house an hr a day, every day after work. But I eventually got tired of cleaning their same mess over and over and over. My wife eventually started cleaning up after them (because she didn't like me complaining)...but then comes to me to complain about -- she sweeps the floor or wipes down the counter tops, and IMMEDIATELY after, her mom or dad will spill something or leave crumbs, or cook and make a huge fucking mess etc. etc. etc.
I tell her to tell her parents to stop acting like 7 yr olds and act like the 75+ yr olds they are. She says, they are old so she has to respect them yada yada yada. I told her...if she doesn't want to address the issue directly...I don't wanna listen to her whine about it. These have been a rough couple of months with them living here.
So anyway...the other issue is that her older sister and her husband and her two kids are poor...yet refuse to acknowledge it in any form. They constantly come to us to "borrow" money for "emergencies". This is the same family where the wife has worked 2 minimum wage jobs for the past 10 years while the husband has not worked at all. Eventually, she got a management role and quit the 2nd job...(though I think she made the wrong choice. A career in retail or in a hospital administrative office?) To be fair, he could not legally work because he lost his paperwork after getting citizenship -- but never put in a bit of effort to get the paperwork replaced. It came to a head earlier this year when he got arrested for driving without a license -- and was eventually deported. He has his paperwork now...but lo and behold, he STILL has not even STARTED looking for a job. He worked in construction. His favorite past time is to come to my paid for house -- and point out things that can be fixed/repaired. It is petty stuff. "You can tell the did a repair here, that paint doesn't exactly match the paint before -- That door frame doesn't look square -- You can tell your house is settling here, you see that crack forming in the drywall?" Just petty shit like that.
Finally, for Thanksgiving, the FIL and MIL went to that sister's house. That sister works in retail and had to work late Thanksgiving/Black Friday...but didn't want to leave her children alone (her husband went to Miami for some reason...but he has always randomly done that). They were complaining about having issues with their AC unit beforehand. She came with her kids to pick the parents up on Tuesday (wife and I were at work). They drop the baby off with my wife on their way out. Wife comes home early. I get home. Tuesday night they are gone. Wednesday night they are gone. Thursday around 10a, I am downstairs playing with my daughter when I hear the lock on the front door rattle. In walks FIL, MIL, sister and her 2 kids. I ask my wife did she know they were coming and she said, not really, they called her about 5 mins before to say they are almost there. They basically say their AC unit has crapped out and the house is too cold to stay. So they ask to spend the night. They also ask to "borrow" some money to get their unit repaired. I asked how much money do they have to put towards the repair -- she says she has about $2200...but doesn't want to use that because that is for the kids' iphones for Christmas...but if we could loan them the money or even cosign for them...they would definitely pay us back. Long story short, we paid 100% of the replacement unit costs and they kept the money for iphone 11s "because it's Christmas, and you gotta help family, and a $5k repair is just at 0.5% of our net worth (meaning that if I had a $100...I would have $99.95 left after this repair) -- it makes sense...but because of how this family is, it has been a very rough patch in our marriage. In my world view...you don't get iphone 11s @15 and 11 period, but especially if you can't heat your house. But whatever. She leaves for work. We find places for everyone to sleep (1 guest room, the parents' room, and a sleeper sofa later). Thursday they spend the night. Friday, she says she's too tired to drive back to get them...so they spend the night. Saturday, she says shes still tired and may be getting sick, so they spend the night.The husband gets back Sunday, but he's tired from driving from FL to NC and she says she's sick. So WE drive the kids back Sunday night because they have school on Monday. Oh and the kids harrassed me constantly on Friday to take them shopping because of the really good deals. When I said no...the 15 year old boy threw a tantrum and started crying. I took my daughter and cellphone and mocked him relentlessly, until he shut himself in the guestroom. So I signed on to my WIFI and blocked his access -- yes, yes, I'm Richard PETTY. But I had a good laugh.
The newest issue is that my wife's other sister is in the Army and currently stationed in KS. She is being medically discharged in January after 17-18 yrs of service (she had crazy complications with her pregnancy a yr plus ago and will likely never be the same). He husband is also retiring after a 20+ yr career in May/June. The parents go back to Nicaragua in Feb. This sister's plan is to go to Nicaragua with her parents from Feb to May. When they come back, the mom, dad, sister, her child wanted to move in with us "because Killa has a nice big house with lots of space" to figure out what their next move is while the husband retires and arranges to move across the country. They never asked btw...they TOLD my wife that that is their plan. Fortunately, my wife said she HAS to talk to me about it first. Obviously, I said not just no, but hell no.
This killed the conversation. So the father had this outburst about how he is tired of having to clean up behind me constantly. Obviously, this started another discussion. He says that when I come home from work, I dump my dirty tupperware in the sink and expect him to clean up and he is sick of it. So on Dec 21, they told us they are spending Christmas with the other sister. My wife drove them down on the 23rd.
OK. That background info is out of the way.
We went to visit that sister on the 25th. The sister was excited because she got approved for a 0% interest CC. The kids got their iphones...the husband got 100s - 1000s of dollars in accessories for his $60k pick up truck. The sister got some jewelry. Am I the only one that realizes that they are going to get hit with 30% interest next year. At least the house was a VERY COMFORTABLE 76 deg.
Now this same husband that criticizes my house. They had a leaky toilet 3+ years ago. They ignored it for years until it rotted out the bathroom floor. Eventually he repaired the floor...but when you walk into the bathroom now, it is still unfinished plywood 2+ years later. I also noticed that the shower head is leaking behind the wall -- so there is a forest of mold around the shower/tub parameter. THE GUY WORKED IN CONSTRUCTION...he has all the tools to fix it. He also hasn’t worked a FT for the past decade…so he has the time to fix it. But whatever....
The other thing, the house is fucking FILTHY. We didn’t let our daughter touch the floors. And you know how babies put EVERYTHING in their mouth. Well, we were on her like fucking helicopter parents because HELL NO. They have 3 big dogs (german sheppard mixes) and 2 cats. The MIL and FIL were sweeping, scrubbing stains outta counter tops, scrubbing appliances, washing dishes, taking out the trash, and mopping. Just all the shit that they don’t do at my house. Watching them just blew my fucking mind because I was told they are too old to do any of it. And while grandma and grandpa were doing this, the kids were watching tv, playing video games, and showing me all the cool features of their new iphones – and telling me that I should upgrade my phone because my Galaxy S5 is too old and too far behind current technology.
The sister was just shooting a barrage of nonsense questions about when are we having baby #2? My wife is getting older and we have to think about these things – and can’t wait forever.
TL;DR: I don't hate my inlaws... But I fucking dislike them so much
Most of my wife's fam is in the Caribbean who i'll be meeting sometime this year (St. Vincent). I am cool with the mom and dad so far.
My mother is getting married this year so I met her fiance's fam during Christmas which was fun and very different. It's going to be annoying because I will eventually get when am I going to marry my wife (we are not married but I will call her my wife), my mother is getting married a second time. To be honest momdukes deserves to be married before me, shes been through a lot.