1. Run away with me
    All the way to the sea
    Where the greenest grass grows
    and the gentlest breeze blows

    Run and meet me there
    Away from pain and fear
    To a place with plenty of room
    Where our love can fully bloom

    Run together to a place
    Where we live at our pace
    Far from the agony
    And daily monotony
    Ninjagirl, Shadowsagefox and Martzu like this.
  2. Second line "All the way to the see ". See?

    To me message of this poem is sweet and endearing, to encourage the loved one to make a decision and leave everything of old life behind and be together. Maybe because how I interpret it, rest of the poem and word 'demand' feels bit strange and out of place. English is not my first language, so maybe I am missing something here as well as the line "Bridge our division" feels bit misplaced. (To be honest I don't get it. ^^;; )

    Thank you for sharing, Clay. I enjoyed reading your poem. ^^
    Clay likes this.
  3. The last stanza is something added that in hindsight doesnt fit.
  4. I like the original. I had to read the second post to see it and I think you could've kept it. The last stanza simply implies what the whole poem is saying. You want to build a bridge/ make a connection for a relationship. And by doing so there will be no indecision because the sublect of effection would have already chose to make the connection.

    Very nice clay, I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and its easy to read. The repitition that you want a relationship and the benifits it has to offer is something that we all wish to express. You've done that well. Good piece.
    Clay likes this.
  5. Well it was short sweet and simple, I likey.
    Clay likes this.
  6. Nice poem. I really like it! :)

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